the good times are killing me

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Kylie ♉ 21

I guess I am whoever you perceive me to be. Whether you think I'm a fool, a bum, a dreamer or a stoner, my guess is as good as yours




So apparently my bones aren’t healing. It’s been 4 months and you can still clearly see a break.
I’m not regaining movement of most of my foot, things are looking bleak. 

Everything I want to do in life, all my goals and dreams and bucket list items depend on my ability to not just walk, but walk far. To hike and climb and scramble over rugged terrain. Even my career path is now in jeopardy.
I feel like my life is crumbling. If I can’t hike, what will I do instead? I’ll never be able to see the view from those highest peaks.
I’m trying to stay positive, and I’ve been telling people I’ll still be able to do those things, it’ll just be a lot harder and take longer. And I want to believe that. So I’ll keep telling people that it’s alright when they ask, because I’ve moved from saying it’s good, since then I’d be lying. Saying it’s alright is the most truthful thing I can say without completely bumming everyone around me out. 

I just really don’t know what my life is going to be. I know it’s not going to be what I thought, but I also know it’s going to be great, just maybe in a different way.